40 Calorie Banana Bread

39.89 Calories split 18 ways, or 718 for a loaf.

Ingredients:

2 overripe bananas

1 1/4 cups flour

1/2 cup zero calorie sweetener

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

Pinch of salt

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, or about 177 degrees Celsius. In a medium to large sized bowl, mash the bananas. Next, add in the flour, sweetener, baking powder, salt, and baking soda and mix well. Slowly add in some water, stirring thoroughly to make sure you don't add too much. You're aiming for a batter consistency. Finally, put it in a pan to bake and bake it for about 25 minutes or until you can poke a fork in it and the fork comes out clean.

11 calorie mini muffins

11.03 calories split 56 ways, or 618 calories for the whole batch.

Left: chocolate. Right: strawberry banana.

Ingredients

1 1/4 cups flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 cup almond milk

3/4 cup sweetener

1 potato

Water until it reaches batter consistency

Optional:

Flavorings (fruit, chocolate chips, cocoa powder, etc.)

Wash, peel, chop up, and boil the potato without salt*. In a medium to large sized bowl, mash the potato all up with your trusty fork. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit or about 177 Celsius. Add in the flour, baking soda, salt, baking powder, and sweetener. Then add in the almond milk and mix well before adding the water. Put the batter in mini muffin tins ( or regular muffin tins if that's what tickles your pickle), and then bake for 10 minutes or until you can poke it with your fork and it comes out clean.

*To boil a potato, chop it up into equal sized nuggets and put them in a pot. Put enough water in the pot that it covers the potato and then some, but not so much that it'll boil over. Set the pot on the stove and heat it to a medium high, like in between 8 and 9 if your stove has numbers. wait until it reaches a rolling boil, then put the lid on the pot and bring it to a simmer, like a 2 on the stove. About every five minutes or so, poke a potato piece with your fork until it's easy and you don't have to stab it in. Mine are usually done in 10-ish minutes. Then take it off the heat, drain the pot and leave a little bit of the potato-y water, then put all that in your bowl and mash it all up. For mashed potatoes, add almond milk until you get your favorite mashed potato consistency, then add hella salt and whatever other seasonings you want.

35 calorie fake steak (and however much asparagus you eat)

Portobello mushroom caps are 35 calories each and one asparagus is, like, eight calories.

I didn't cut off the white part. Sue me.

Ingredients:

1 portobello cap

Asparagus

Salt (to taste)

Pepper (to taste)

Pam spray (it's probably not actually 0 calories but don't burst my bubble please)

Portobello caps:

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit or about 232 Celsius. Add salt and pepper to the mushroom to taste. I put parmesan cheese on mine because of peer pressure but never give in to peer pressure. After not having the moral backbone of an eclair, spray a pan with Pam, put the mushrooms on, and bake for 20 minutes.

Asparagus:

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit or about 204 Celsius. Spray a pan with Pam, set the asparagus in the pan, spray it with Pam, and add salt and pepper to taste. Bake it for 10 minutes.